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Beginner guide to all major cryptos
First off, this is a repost from u/WhiskasTheCat (<- all credit goes to that guy), but it was so funny that I had to share.

The crypto space can be overwhelming for beginners, there's just so many coins!
But fret not, I created simple explanations for all major coins to help you level up your crypto knowledge. Enjoy!

Bitcoin (BTC): The first crypto currency, created by Nvidia to boost graphics card sales
Ethereum (ETH): BTC but can also calculate your taxes
Tether (USDT): US dollar but what if the money printer had a modem
BNB (BNB): ETH but what if rug pulls were cheaper
XRP (XRP): CBDC (Central Bank Digital Currency) beta release
Cardano (ADA): A whitepaper became self aware, grew a beard and created a crypto currency
Solana (SOL): ETH but what if <SEG FAULT #F9E7>
Dogecoin (DOGE): BTC but what if dog
Polkadot (DOT): You throw a party for blockchains but nobody shows up
Avalanche (AVAX): ETH but you think it's too simple and make it 3 blockchains
Polygon (MATIC): ETH but you want to run ETH on it
Litecoin (LTC): Dogecoin beta release
Uniswap (UNI): What if you wanted to swap 1 ETH worth of coins for a fee of 2 ETH
Chainlink (LINK): What if random numbers cost money
Cronos (CRO): You create a coin but you don't like it having use cases so you remove them
Monero (XMR): BTC but what if it pissed off regulators even more
Algorand (ALGO): What if you brought democracy to a blockchain without bombing it first
Bitcoin Cash (BCH): BTC but with an insolvent CEO
VeChain (VET): What if your coin's use case doesn't work out so you try out a new one every month
The Sandbox (SAND): Minecraft but what if it was designed by a hedge fund
ApeCoin (APE): What if you bought an ape JPEG for 1 million USD and still had money left over
Internet Computer (ICP): ETH but what if the price chart was reversed
Filecoin (FIL): Google Drive but what if you paid Bob to store your data instead
Axie Infinity (AXS): A full time job where your salary can get hacked
EOS (EOS): What if you were the cool kid once but now work at McDonalds
Aave (AAVE): What if you got liquidated but it's decentralized so it's ok
IOTA (MIOTA): What if your toaster could trade crypto currencies
THORChain (RUNE): Created by Marvel fans to get Chris Hemsworth's attention
Loopring (LRC): Polygon but partnered with dying retail stores
Nano (XNO): A fast and feeless currency so good that nobody wants to use it
Terra (LUNA v2): Created for ponzi scheme victims that still had money left over

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